This one goes out to all the mamas who think they are failing miserably at this #momlife thing. I’m here to tell you, you’re not.
You know why you’re not? Because I’m failing at it just as much or even worse than you are. So here are some anecdotes from the past month to make you feel better about yourself.
It started with Halloween when I bought a little pint-sized pumpkin perfect for Crue to paint and take pictures with…guess what? We didn’t paint the pumpkin. We didn’t even carve a pumpkin. We took some impromptu pictures next to the pumpkin, but that was about it. Success.
It then continued with me working in the garden one evening and Crue is outside running around playing with the dogs. At one point I look up from picking kale, and he’s walking around with an empty beer can in his hands. Tipping it back, mouth wide-open, hoping to get a drop to come out…yep. The best part? I have no idea how long that empty beer can was outside.
Keep on reading it just keeps getting better…I promise.
A couple of weeks ago I kept giving Crue his morning and nightly milk in his sippy cup, but he wasn’t guzzling it down like normal. He would just leave it and keep begging Ryan and I to drink from our glasses. Then one day I’m pouring his milk and notice that it seems…odd. Welp, I made Ryan take a taste at which point he promptly confirmed that it’s because it was curdling. Crue wasn’t being defiant, he wasn’t drinking his milk because I was unknowingly trying to poison him. With curdled milk!
The last couple of anecdotes are not for the faint of heart. Look away now if you are a teensy bit squeamish!
Full disclosure: this first story bothers me more than the second. But you may disagree.
The dog ate Crue’s poop out of his diaper. Yup. It happened! I was changing his diaper and pulled it away to the side so he wouldn’t stick his foot in it when I hear this *smacking* noise. I turn to look, and it’s the freaking dog eating the freaking poop from the freaking diaper!
She was promptly yelled at and thrown outside for the majority of the night. At which point she was not allowed to touch, lay next to, or even look at me. I was THOROUGHLY disgusted. Like gagging, snorting, yacking disgusted.
The LAST #momfail of the day? It’s another poop story. But this time it wasn’t the dog eating Crue’s poop. Oh no. I’ll give you one guess as to who was eating the poop this time…any guesses? You ready?
Crue ate the dog’s poop.
What was I doing to let this happen you ask? I literally turned around for ONE SECOND to get a wipe and pick up the dingleberry from the couch. When I turned back around, the dingleberry was *gasp!* GONE.
But not just gone, half was in Crue’s mouth and half was in his hand! It was then that I proceeded to yell at him from point blank range, make him cry and get the dogs barking all at the same time.
That was an eventful evening to say the least.
So there you have it. My #momfails just for the month of November. My hope is that this helps you to feel more adequate in your momming – because trust me, I’m not perfect either.
Give yourself some love, mama.